Why children prefer dad

Chinese parents often like to ask the child for the problem, \"father and mother who is better, which one do you prefer? \"Children are often to\" better love \"to answer. In fact, in the hearts of children, parents \' status is not necessarily equal. At the recent 28th International Congress of psychology, held public forums, Zhang Jianxin research fellow, Institute of psychology, Chinese Academy of Sciences published a preliminary findings: by Beijing, Hebei, Shandong, according to a study of children in more than three to more than 1000 cities, urban children aged 6-12 in China there is a \"boring\" tendencies of the mother, and his father were relatively has become in the eyes of a child\'s \"hot ticket\".

\"Big and small\" MOM tube, I\'m fed up! \"Speak or write with substance\" Dad speak less, I listen!

\"Could you leave me? \"This is xiaoxin mother said a Word to bring him a fruit. Xiaoxin\'s mother is a typical modern mother, regardless of their students, interested in everything, even the life section on her one by one \"to do\". But the test results display, xiaoxin on mother emotion more distant, more eager to communicate with the father.

Professor Zhang Jianxin said, high or low frequency of communication with the children and emotional tendencies of children inside were not necessarily relevant. In modern life, father to spend more time and energy on career, education of child tasks often falls on the mother\'s body. But many mothers lack of education children\'s scientific method, you cannot really understand the child\'s inner world. Therefore, contact with deny or neglect of the child forms of the more, the more will result in child psychology, emotional conflict and boredom. For example, many mothers with their own expectations to require children, children do not meet the requirements will keep nagging, rebuke. Long, mother\'s attention, then not only would no longer be children, and may in the child form inside of a negative image, such as \"oblivious, endlessly.\"

Compared with the mother, because the father usually fewer child discipline, when children and father to be educated or more from a male perspective, focus on more important things, rather than the mother as \"exhaustive\". Therefore, the contact between children and fathers or cause a sense of strangeness, or have a sense of tolerance. Father\'s image in the minds of children is not so clear and strong mother.

Chinese parents how to deal with the relationship between the child and it? Reporter visited the China Youth University for political sciences youth work Department Director Chen Lisi.

Parents not to let the children live in one\'s own expectations, depends on the specific circumstances of the child, in accordance with their aptitude.

In the 6-12 children between the ages of the family, most of them are parents occupy a dominant position, it occurred mostly because of the parents of the parent-child relationship is not coordinated. Many parents not to seek truth from facts, the high asking a child to do something they don\'t like to do things, or unrealized wish to impose their own child. For example, forced children to learn various skills, achieve their required level, if a child falls short on the use of sarcasm, even scolding method. These are actually a psychological abuse, not only to the effect, but will harm the child. In fact, when it comes to these things is essentially due to the parents as a result of lack of social security, they worry about their children, is also a lack of confidence in their future performance.

At the same time, there are many parents lack of proper teaching methods, blindly believe in some claims, such as \"don\'t let children lost at the starting line\". In fact, for each child, according to different characteristics of his own abilities, there is a Chinese word is called a late bloomer, so on the starting line of winning or losing is not an issue at all. There are many parents believed that without high education or child could not be based in the community since, so when a child was very young when they were \"determined\" to let your child read master and doctor, has been asking them to take part in enhanced Edition, tutorial. In fact, these views are totally misleading of the social, and not really understand the situation of China\'s talent market.

To complete the child as a person, respecting them, give them a free development of the space.

Many parents think the good child care is a responsibility that this belief is wrong. Many parents feel when eaten in China, and never let the children to suffer, so all aspects of life in children to interfere in one tube, lest child knock, touch, fully control up to the kids from head to toe, sometimes all day long \"oblivious, endlessly.\" So the final can only be stifled children originally happy, lively childhood life.

In fact, is to eat, some setbacks for children is not necessarily a bad thing, and how do not feel failed to understand the real happiness. Therefore, as a parent to the child as a complete person, should learn to understand them, respect them and give them adequate development space, let them show themselves, know yourself.

Such challenges, how can I answer the child?

Maybe you always spending time with children, playing with him, directing him to do a job, and chat with him, you think you know him very well, but when a child is suddenly raises questions, you are helpless. In fact, you are not does not know the answer, simply find it embarrassing or suddenly, do not know how to answer. Indeed, many parents answer children\'s questions, did not take into account the children how to accept information from their answers, they take it for granted that children can understand their euphemisms and complex answer and wondered why children don\'t do as in your own words.

In fact, if you do not follow the child\'s comprehension to communication, between parents and children will have a lot of misunderstanding. Of course this is completely avoidable, and nothing must abide by the rules. If you can consider the child\'s understanding, easy, simple and honest answer children\'s questions, the children it is easy to understand what you say.

Parents may encounter some problems

Why can\'t I see the film

· Your answer:

Young children yet to explain the so-called old movie reviews and watch the age limit will only make him more confused. May wish to put it simply, as his parents and guardians, do you think the film lens will let him frightened. And told him, you see the movie when, for some lenses will feel uncomfortable and so do not want him to see the film from movie scare.

For bigger kids, you can call a spade a spade, tells them of different age allowed to watch the movie class. Tell them this is the film censors of provisions, as citizens should comply with these rules. If he is found in accordance with their own age when you select the appropriate level of the movie, to reward him in a timely manner, to encourage and affirm his behavior.

Sometimes do lie on

· Your answer:

If your child is less than 5 years old, you should give a categorical answer: lying is absolutely wrong. Tell

him you can sprinkle some harmless lie will only make a small age he felt confused.

For bigger kids, this is a good opportunity to tell his world is not as simple as is a white or black. Sometimes, sprinkle some small lie in order not to hurt the feelings of others. For example, although they don\'t like Aunt do food, but still praises her cooking at her home because you had a good time, and next week will be very happy to go. Also clearly told the children, lying in order to escape punishment or conceal the error is not allowed. In addition, told him that he can\'t lie to you in the following things: where is he? Who with him, he is doing

MOM, why don\'t you speak language that I can\'t

· Your answer:

Comparison of small children, you can say: no one can say bad words, including the mother. And children in some euphemistic words instead of the language of the Church, such as \"do you be quiet for a while\" instead of \"you gave me to shut up.\" \"I could stay a little longer alone\" instead of \"get out\".

On some of the children, because he was able to understand some things people can do, but he could not. However, you may also require him, cursing others is not acceptable behavior. You two can work together to stop this bad behavior.

I have friends cheating, I should go to tell on you

· Your answer:

Immediately tell the children, no matter what the circumstances, cheating is wrong. Sure he has such a sense. And then tell him there are several treatment options for these things. For example, he can go to learn if their school has some security system for reporting and systems. Or, you ask him to tell his friend, hope that his friend can admit their mistakes and corrections. His friends may be very angry and even offensive, but perhaps these two children can take to solve the problem. Finally, your children will certainly did not tolerate this story proud for him.

What are condoms

· Your answer:

Wel

l, finally asked the children to this type of headache by allowing parents \"issues\". I felt very awkward and embarrassing, please? Actually no, sat down and children answer the question honestly. You can skillfully skipping some obscure detail, from the birds and the bees began to transition to the people. Kids, condoms are used to help people only to the children when they want to have children. Observe the child\'s face, from the look of them get some implied, so when the judge stopped.

For bigger kids, can be answered with charts. Draw a man and a woman\'s reproductive system, tell them that condoms can prevent unplanned pregnancies, also can block HIV and sexually transmitted diseases bacterial invasion. Don\'t feel shy, this is very important for child safety knowledge.

Do we in public safety

· Your answer:

This is a medium developed society, small children will see or hear some bad news about the explosion or robbery, a little older fear may ask you questions. You have to do is honest. Truthfully to tell the children, but the way they can understand. Such as tell kids: Although there are bad people, but the policeman is responsible to seize these bad guys, we are safe. And then also give children some \"peace of mind-pin\", tell them: this bad things will happen rarely, and MOM and dad will protect you. This will give them a sense of security.

For a large number of children, such as school-age children or adolescents, they are able to accept deeper discussions. They want you to be able to help him understand his things from friends or heard on TV. But don\'t forget that they are still children, need

You tell them the bad incidents is very occasional and rare, thus reducing their sense of fear and insecurity. Also keep in mind that the older children, it is easy to have the worries we as adults. Understandably, adults will sometimes insecure. Mastering a skill: full understanding of relevant departments of State and Government onthe safeguard measures, and then share these positive information and the children will help children eliminate inner insecurity.

Do you and dad to divorce

· Your answer:

If you couple feeling very well, be sure to figure out why he asked. His friend\'s parents had divorced? Or is he accidentally overheard the two of you more bitter quarrel? And then tell the children, it is a good relationship in the world, there will be conflicts and quarrels, but you can solve these problems and his father.

For more children, you can use the same answer. But if you are arguing in front of the children\'s behavior, be sure to reconciliation before the children, let the children see you actions and efforts made to resolve the issue.

· Assuming you really want to divorce, that your answer should be like this:

You and your partner are to sit down and talk with the children to talk about. Will moderate the matter tell children as lightly as possible, but must be honest. By you personally to tell him about it from the mouth of others that is better than him. Tell children you love them, and care for each other, but you can\'t have lived together. He was sure that this does not mean that you will love him a little less, although he has only one of them lived together with you, but another who would often came to see him. Remember, this thing very sad for you, is also true for the kids.

Why Grandma will die

· Your answer:

Don\'t cheat your children never said the dead man is asleep and sleep for a long time, or travel to far places. That will make children afraid of going to bed at night, or you go out during the day. Tell children all living things will die, this is the law of nature. People, animals and plants as well. Then find some comfort, said: while Grandma and we no longer live together, but we can think of her.

For a large number of children, you should give him the opportunity to release their own sad. Ask the child

ren to feel, and tell him: I know how much you think you Grandma, I miss her. You need to let the child know sad is normal, others feel the same way. And then find an appropriate example to tell him that all living things would have died after a certain period of time.

What happens after the father has no job, we

· Your answer:

Calmly telling children dad is looking for a new job, don\'t worry. But you should now be more save more, so as not to let the father take care of distraction. Then talk to the children while saving thing. Even children under 5 will understand the concept of saving. For example to illustrate: \"do you remember any time you wish to buy a spaceship? Later, we used a discarded box give you a beautiful spaceship, not spend a penny, but is it more interesting? We also do it yourself after toys, OK? ”

For a large number of children, available approaches the dilemma of brainstorming ways to collect. You will be amazed to find that your child is such a man. For example, he will be when you are busy, offer to help you clean up the House, and even cooking. In difficult times if contribute can make children feel that they can partner, he must feel very happy. A greater number of children, you can encourage him to use holiday jobs to earn their own money. This favourable to the establishment of child\'s self-confidence.

Answer the challenge of skills

In reply to a child before I have to look how much he knew. If one day your child asks you some challenges such as sex, death, politics, maybe you should simply ask: what do you hear? Let your child express their understanding of the first, or even misunderstandings, thereby discovered his problem and what is of real concern.

· Keep the answer simple: you\'re the answer must be given for your child\'s age, sometimes a Word is enough. Behind in his question, maybe he\'s just worried about their safety, so be sure to let him get security assurance: \"police Uncle will

protect our\" or \"air sister will tell us how to stay on the plane safely\".

· Asking more questions: If your child asks you about personnel injury news, you can say: I was very sorry to see so many people were injured, what about you? If he was being bullied at school, you have to let him tell you their feelings. Ask more questions, to know more about the children inside, what he is thinking, what fear and doubt? To specifically answer.

· Repeatedly talking about: you might want to prepare, sometimes your children to ask you the same question is repeated. This suggests that he had been thinking about it, or he wants to get more information. So at the time of answer for the first time, to hold back a trick or two, so that when he asked again to tell him again.

· Agrees with the child\'s feeling: when communication with the children, it must be noted, that is, no matter what is your child feeling, you are going to make him understand that you agree with him. Only he felt were recognized and accepted, he can truly feel and resolved the issue. And if children know you agree with his feelings, they will be more willing to open your heart and your communication, you feel more. Questioning the child said, it definitely will be a communication barrier between you.

· Set a good example: being a good example, if you always say rude or angry shouted habits, how can you

Tell kids not to do it? Although there are some things the adults \' privileges, such as staying up late, to children can\'t go to the place. But as parents, if you do not want children to learn what your sample, it should always pay attention to your behavior. Also, a word parents reduces child many doubts in our hearts.

How competent kid gang with sick baby to see the doctor

Pressure potential of larger and more calm, more inspired, this psychology experiment that only belong to men\'s \"patent\" results. It seems that when families under pressure of time, is the father of great opportunity.

We certainly don\'t want to take the baby to the hospital. But you have to admit, as he gradually grew up, you often go to the hospital more and more familiar, as \"sick\" this thing is inevitable.

Small survey

General who is the child in your family to see a doctor?

Parent 53%

Mother 31%

Others 12%

Father 4%

How well do you think dad in hospital performance?

Can cooperate with me, but I asked him to do, he did not know what 56%

Rush, not as good as my own 21%

Basic stand looking 14%

Done very well, I\'m satisfied with 9%

Training camp

The baby is sick, is undoubtedly the most worry and anxiety of the parents at all times. But many on the dad would find more help at this time what, because the child only mount mother. In fact, most need dad play themselves \"the more pressure the more sober\" unique ability: appease good sick babies, helping anxious mother relaxed, Division of discussions, the confusing situation was ordered.

Doctor total planning

The usual

If used more in normal heart, it will allow \"the doctor\" this sudden become calm.

Joint attention to the situation in hospital near his home with my mother, have such as Pediatrics, location of the registered office, night no pediatric emergency and so on. Information can be recorded.

Know some of the children\'s Hospital in the city of exact location and opening hours. Of course, you can telephone record of hospital information, but the telephone always busy, is not necessarily helpful.

Peacetime and children doctor game, reducing his fear of doctors, hospitals.

Prepare

If the parents cannot control their emotions, the child becomes more frightening. Child stable emotions is important prerequisite for avoiding disease exacerbation of.

Help calm down Rush\'s mother, gave her a list to prepare for her things. Dressed and then to the children, play with kids for a while, or hold him while listening to soothing music, mother. If a child in a fever, he physically first heat, such as warm water to clean, let him drink some water.

List

Registration card or medical record

Hot water, milk (or cookies)

Bottle (or Cup)

Diapers or diapers

Replace clothes

(To prevent the baby threw up on the road or pull)

Small towel, toilet paper, disinfectant wipes

Baby likes a different toy

Enough money (some small change)

Of testing (and urine or vomit)

If not an emergency, can be the first to register at the hospital and dad, let MOM take the child out the door after the estimated time. This can reduce child be cross-infection at the hospital for a long time.

On my way

Use this time to think about the child\'s illness, cause, can enable you to more accurately described by doctors in a moment.

Complementary to the hospital after the doctor statement which situations of the children, what question, do not wait to think a lot of problems out of the hospital did not ask. And who better to exchange with the doctor. Because if both of them are talking, the doctor may not know who. Other people only concentrate on putting the baby so baby trying not to cry in front of doctors in order not to hamper medical examination and diagnosis.

Doctors may be asked questions

History

Previous treatment, drug use

Body temperature

Attack time

The present state of

Diet

Sleep apnea

Obey the

If a child has larger, program you want to take advantage of this time and their children to make it clear to see a doctor, he has prepared for eliminating his nervousness. Recalls the previous game, story or made in the form of ex post facto reward approach is feasible.

Waiting

A person taking care of children, another person to deal with other things, no two people are holding the child in the hospital, running around.

First emplacement of mother and child to sit waiting area, preferably with ventilation window around. Let children drink or playing with toys, not to take children to amusement parks or shopping districts. And father to the registered office by registered, to triage medical records to, if you have a more familiar and trusted with triage nurse, doctor said. At the same time, some understanding of how long to wait, and so on.

If you need to do some checking, too, a person in a fixed place of accompanying children, another person to pay, finding the examination room where to go, and so on.

Visit

The shortest time, be sure to take advantage of it and improve efficiency.

If a child crying, after the doctor, first ask whether doctors can make a man with children leave, leave a person to listen to the doctor\'s advice, able to communicate better and doctors.

But do you think doctors did not ask to

Tell him important; summed up the road you want to ask questions of all, it doesn\'t matter what doctors are impatient.

Repeat of doctor of medicine dosage, take time, and so on, can deepen the impression. Especially when you need to take some medicine, have to take the order.

Leave

Wish never came, but also can look at again on signs at the entrance of the hospital the layout and basic situation of relevant experts.

If is close to home, came out from the room to let a man take the baby home.

Father paying, take medicine when, MOM you can change it for baby diapers or drink some water, do the rest.

Home, themselves and baby wash, wash your face, they hang up their coats in the Sun outside a Sun or wash.

Quick Tip

If mainly nannies or grandparents taking care of children in peacetime, they understand most of incidence, went to the hospital to bring them up to them to accept the doctor\'s information.

More about growth and development of children. In less than 1 year old baby for example may have child care emergency, diarrhoea and other diseases. This doesn\'t help you cure the child, but will keep you in the face of related conditions to remain calm.

Many exchanges with other mother, for some common diseases, try mothers have summarized more tips than to go to the hospital worked.

Dad stories

We have two children, hospital on 1 time times greater chance than others, but we also have more experience. First sick child to go to the hospital as a very normal thing, do not think the sky down confused. Followed by two people must have rules, don\'t favor one thing, another thing no one tube. Preferably fixed Division model, take the kids to see a doctor later becomes tacit cooperation. Finally, contact now so developed, really no need to let the children see in half a day with a stay at the hospital. I usually go to the registration, estimated time, let the children come to see as far as possible, go read. He was born, he should be allowed in the home, not in the hospital waiting for

Transfers from the 39 health network

Take on the children of the most valuable thing is time

Gelei·Ma Ding Lin at the age of 14, his parents divorced. His mother\'s middle and West of the Surrey Institute was a radio program producer. I would like to talk about this story, because this is the Surrey Institute told me, touches a lot to me. 
No matter where we live in, how many children are there, whether it is a single mother married mother, step-parents are foster parents, have a common wish: give children a happy loving home. In fact, we have a similar dream. Every night our family sat at the table talking and laughing, they are very happy. Children look forward to long hikes over the weekend. Night when chatting, children sat around the parent side with deep feeling, share their secrets of the deep thought and deep. Of course, family life is not as perfect as art. 
It is true, and the children of life is not always as sweet as the cherry. In some cases, family life is not only difficult and heartbreaking. Whatever the reason, sometimes the relationship between parents and children may be more nervous. Even worse is that this relationship may be completely stopped. I discussed this issue during the radio interview. 
I like to do entertainment of the audience, sitting at home in one hand and the phone, the other a hand holding a coffee cup, discussed a wide variety of topics of raising children. Programme makers usually call to tell me some information before commencement of performances, including where the television broadcast, such as host name. Then play host, according to the length of the show, I will be carried out in the programme for ten minutes to an hour of talks in early childhood education. 
I was most interested in the audience of parents hotline questions. That day has many listeners to the radio to call for help. I realize that many parents have some difficult issues involving the family. These stories always worrying and distressing. In any case, every caller has the same wish: to be able to regain complete and happy family life, actively seeking and child recovery approach. 
I and a few visitors that day talking, and made many suggestions. At this time radio news breaks up. Usually program producers will be on line at this time, told me after the rest period, I continued the program. Rest time is approximately five minutes. But then, suddenly unexpected thing happened: producers had indeed come, did not let me continue to the original program, when the news is still in play when she begins the conversation. She says her name is sarui·Ma Ding Lin, enjoyed the show, enjoy listening to my suggestions. 
Clearly, the Surrey Institute would like to discuss with me any problems, so I wait a bit, she began to tell their stories. Her public statements on the radio a little less natural. And the Surrey Institute began to tell the results surprised her experience made me. 
She said she was sympathetic to so many calls her mother feels. Because they have and the son had some unpleasant experiences. She and her husband divorced, the results become very bad. Although the Surrey Institute gained custody of 14 year old son, but the son of her feelings have changed. Gray blamed the Surrey Institute divorce, believing this had hurt his father. \"He is very stubborn and does not want to and I share what, and I live with him because the Court sentenced him to me. But this does not mean that he loves me, and I share. ”
The Surrey Institute was clearly suffered from painful torment, could hardly go on. Recollections of the past seems to have again opened her emotional scars. She and her husband discuss a solution. They tried again on several occasions reconciliation, but found that it is impossible to continue living together. Had to face the reality, she loves her son, but his son did not understand why parents cannot live together. Regardless of the Surrey Institute of trying to explain, but refused to talk with her son. 
\"I don\'t know what to do? \"The Surrey Institute says,\" I almost want to make a way, but the son always ignored me. I want to let him know I still love him. He was all of me – my life. So, one day, I decided to write a note to him every day, not very long, just a scratch pad a short letter, wanted him to know I\'m not giving up. 
\"I might wish him football competitions are the best of luck, or friends encouraged him to play. Sometimes also written remembering information exchanges with him, whether long or short written, is written with the end \' will always love you mother \' \"
\"I wrote about a dozen of note. \"She said,\" every night I put it on the bathroom mirror, but gray was never mentioned. \"The Surrey Institute of paused, then said,\" this is enough, I just wanted to let him know I care about him, no matter what happens, will not give up his love. ”
The Surrey Institute said that she continued writing for weeks, until something happens. \"One day I will be late for work, but can\'t find the garage remote control. I searched all local wildly. \"She explains,\" I want to have an important meeting, only one place I have no view--my son\'s bedroom. Grey had left home to go to school, I never without his permission in his bedroom, in fact, I have for a long time not go off. Sometimes forgot to bring my son room key when also take over remote control, so I think gray there will be remote controlled. In any case, should go to his bedroom look. 
\"I went in, I remember this room seems to have suffered a catastrophe, CD disks are everywhere on the floor, dirty clothes piled high on a bed, book and paper scattered get to that. I quickly opened the wardrobe and drawer, look on the floor, but was not found. There is not much time, I only check part is his bed. I stooped to open throw, then found a cigarette case, my heart was tense at once, nearly stopped breathing. Several terrible idea immediately came to my mind: opening the box, will find drug addiction, alcohol, or pornographic books, and so on. 
\"I really do not know to open the box how much courage, I sat for a while, eventually taking off lid – can tell you now, I will be stifled. In the box, I see what I wrote a note. Can you imagine? Gray writes I note are collected up, but I guess

He put those things are thrown away. Son never mentioned those messages, but in his neatly put it in a cigarette case, I have to firmly hold the cigarette case in chest, could not help but sob. ”
I want to tell you: after hearing this, Surrey Institute and I are crying, \"now what about the relationship between you and your son? \"I hesitate to ask. While on the phone, but I can also hear her laughter. \"Very good! \"She said, then added,\" despite what is clear, but I\'d know I grey found his cigarette case. I fear that he accused me of something without his consent to turn him, but I am happy I did. After I waited till he came home that day, at an appropriate time, I showed him the box, gray face became pale, then strange things happened: he started to cry. 
\"I do not understand why he is always so melancholy, until you figure out the truth of the incident. Inside secrets he confided these days. He always thought it was because he didn\'t lead to divorce. Grey has condemned its cause our marriage problems. His father and I are always noisy, result thought we quarrel because of his son. He said: \"because I make your marriage, don\'t hate me, MOM, I\'m sorry. ”
\"Do you believe? \"The Surrey Institute says,\" for a long time, gray is not talking to me, because he thinks I hate he led to the divorce. \"She stopped, continue calmly said,\" thank God I wrote the note, if I do nothing, how can have a healthy relationship and son. ”
After that, the insertion end of news programmes. Presenters interrupted the told me that hotlines are the audience was bust. I heard the last word from the Surrey Institute: \"you tell the parents never to give up on it. ”
I happen to have achieved this point.

What can be learned from this story?

Surrey Institute, a radio producer told me, \"no matter how bad the relationship between you and your child, be brave to stick, it is very important. \"As a mother, not weak, just as we would wish to do, and child relationship will always be a crack in time, harm, or even rupture. 
When we are faced with these intimidating obstacles, some mothers fear, their efforts to find change of method, find the answer in the book, consulting experts. If it was not immediately had improved, they give up. But sometimes, problem solving requires patience, perseverance and time. Small problems of is not to cause harm. This is all true mother is the noted. 
Remember: any time, repair the relationship between the child and is not late, for children, there\'s nothing more important than healthy mother-child relationship. This is the foundation of his future relationships. No, facts are not so simple. Sometimes make people frustrated, sad. In the end did not get what they want. However, if the fear of failure without trying, it is more sad. So never give up, and try to be all involved in the children of the world, so as to long-term participation in children\'s lives.

Clever mother should pay attention to why should be involved, studies have shown that what?

Sweden psychologists Mali·mageli Te·Keer and Hakan·SITA Ting by more than 1000 more research on children and their parents in the age of four, found by parents for the child to do things to be aware of the more, the better the adaptability of children. Fewer children make mistakes, there are fewer learning problems, less depressed, have more positive expectations for life, more active partner, relations are more harmonious with their parents. Research personnel found, is those \"natural leaks people\"--those no plan value is small of information, children often will on they of parents blurted out--this on description has more to know children of life in the real occurs has what, than parents spent more of energy to control children or from children there spy information more important was more, more intervention children life of parents, is more willing to and children together share. The bottom line is: more than just participating in children\'s lives can develop adaptive capacity better child, and it is the right contact to be able to get out of trouble. In fact, those who feel always control by monitoring every step of the children of parents poor relationship between parents and their children, and those who feel their parents trust their children better relationship with their parents. In other words, is not how much parents do, but their children telling them how much. This is very different, this is the real mother.

The real secret of mothers in your child\'s education is also reflected in it?
Let us to know the facts: relationship between parents and children are always very difficult. Any single mothers with two or more children recognized that some children do better than others. But this does not mean that implementation of motherly love will be more difficult. Especially when our children more challenging when mother love is a form of life. Of course we love our children, when they are hurt when we also were injured. Let us explore more profoundly, why in the relationship with the children will have a painful or crack? More important is, let us find a way to repair relationships with the children. Part I mean, you should sincerely reflect on what\'s going to continue, and then when you finish this chapter, when to agree to do something to change, and then to change child ready yet? 

1. How do you describe your relationship with your child? Is a full range of war, once a week of fighting, or just be a small conflict-of-or if you terminate the relationship? I just asked some questions to help you get inspired in some things. 
2. What is the problem? If you can remember some of the recent war, are always the same thing? You can predict, for example, what would cause the next conflict? 
3. When was the first setback or crack? What question mode? Can be summed up in one of the following events: divorce, moving, illness, loss, work changes

Contradictions, pressure, and friends? What triggered the war, you can change yourself to help children? Do you know what you can change what you can\'t change it? 
4. Let us now think about your child: what do you care about your behavior? What kind of behavior makes you worried? There are some obvious changes did occur? What is the reason? There are these possibilities: hormones reduce, conflicts, illness, drug abuse, and friends in the school frustrated, too much pressure, fatigue, exhaustion, and other adults have contradictory, despair, let parents. For reasons of, what is your guess? What can you do to reduce the problem? (For example, you can ask a tutor to his mathematics, organizing sports activities so that he does not feel overwork or suppressed, eliminating extra-curricular activities that can increase his pressure) you can do what? 
5. your child\'s behavior is what attitude? Children do have really makes you look bad, has angered you, or indeed make your blood boil? Did you realize that these? How do you calm? When this behavior when your child has recently, how do you reflect? Whether eyes glower, criticize, rebuke, yelling \' for? When was the last of your positive attitude, also is to say some unfounded? Once you may react differently in the past, this behavior does not cause friction. 
6. do you know about children? --Really understand them? Let the child know that you care about them, you need to interest himself in their lives, such as: How did you answer these questions? 
What happened at school? Her class, her activity table, their teacher\'s name. What\'s for lunch yesterday? 
Her friend is who? Eating lunch with her and who is? And who go after school? 
What she likes? Band combination, TV shows, movie stars, the team, like, DVD, music, food, dessert, ice cream flavor, teacher, friend, jacket. After school he went to the place of sth 
You occupy a large proportion of the world for her? You do let her know that you are interested in her life? Last you into her world, or her sphere of influence is when? For example, you last to accompany her to watch her favorite TV series when is? (You do not need to say one thing, just showing interest in it) you ever ask why she liked a picture CD or film? You have not been involved in her game or school activities? 
If you know nothing about children\'s things, or have difficulty in answering the above questions, what is you know your child better method? The most simple things you can do is to let the child know that you are interested in her thing really. 
On the children and their parents, what you see now? You realize that things are changing their, and better access to the children of the world, parents of children who do care? Write your answers down, then prepare to learn these secrets and application in the family